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Rat Facts
Everything below has been presented with complete confidence. Whether any of it is true is a separate matter entirely.
Rats Can Detect the Key of C# at 40 Paces
Scientific study conducted at the University of Nowhere, 2019. Rats were consistently able to identify the key of C# in recordings of Gregorian chant, suggesting an innate musical sensibility that researchers described as "troubling."
A Group of Rats Is Called a "Parliament"
This one is actually true. We included it to give you a false sense of security. A group of rats is genuinely called a parliament, which says more about parliaments than it does about rats.
Rats Have Been Found to Navigate by the Stars
A lone rat, when placed in an open field on a clear night, will orient itself using the constellation Orion and walk in a straight line toward the nearest cheese. Scientists believe this behavior developed during the Late Cretaceous period, when cheese was abundant.
The Average Rat Knows Approximately 400 Words
They choose not to use them. This is a decision they have made, and researchers are not sure how to feel about it.
Rats Invented Jazz
Not directly. But the syncopated rhythms of early New Orleans jazz were noticeably influenced by the scratching sounds of rats in the walls of the city's clubs. Jelly Roll Morton reportedly consulted a rat before recording "King Porter Stomp." This is in no surviving documentation.
A Rat's Memory Extends Backward in Time
Unlike humans, rats can remember things that haven't happened yet. This is why they are so difficult to surprise. Researchers describe this as "pre-cognitive retention" and note that it is completely made up.
Rats Experience a Distinct Emotion Called "Grundle"
Described by researchers as a feeling somewhere between smug satisfaction and mild concern about the future. Rats experience grundle approximately eleven times per day. Humans experience it once, around age 34, and call it a "Tuesday."
The Roman Empire Fell Because of Rats
Not really. But the rats were there. They were watching. They had opinions.
Rats Have a Dedicated Bone for Lying Down
The reclinate vertebra, located in the lower thorax, deploys during rest to achieve maximum flatness. Scientists believe it evolved alongside the couch, which rats predate by approximately six thousand years.
Rats Can Hold Their Breath for 72 Hours
They don't. But you believed it for a second, didn't you. A rat can hold its breath for about three minutes, which is still better than most people doing laps.
* None of these are real. Probably. We are not responsible for any choices you make based on this information. Except the one about the parliament of rats — that one's actually true. We take no responsibility for your relationship with rats going forward.